The Stories I Tell ~ from The Word Cellar

Stories. Anecdotes. A free round of words for everyone!

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Location: Pennsylvania, United States

I love stories. I'm the one at social functions with a dozen new anecdotes. But I worry about hogging the conversation. Sometimes I tell myself that I'll be quiet and let others do the talking. But no matter how hard I try, my stories insist on bursting out! Here I can let my stories (the classics that I tell again and again, as well as new ones that unfold along the way) run free. I'm a professional writer and editor, and sole proprietor of The Word Cellar. I write for a variety of publications and clients on everything from green buildings and nuclear reactors to entrepreneurship and the arts. If you need words written, edited, or enlivened, I can help. Contact me.

3.09.2006

One cannot simply begin calling a person a banana and expect to be understood.


You just have to laugh at some spam messages. They are little gems of broken English. They are evidence that translation software isn't as good as human translation. Some are poems. Here's one I got this morning.

Morning evit,

show ur significant other now and discontinue hearing nagging in the
bed. Don't be anymore about ur unit, I'm not. Come see what other are
saying.


do not agree with every guideline that the Bible sets out for them.
They have to decide how large.


a role religion is going to play in their lives. Holden says that he,
in some ways, is "an atheist" . single individual cannot create a language ? one
cannot simply begin calling a person a banana and expect to be understood.
here would Emerson be


Hope is was of some help
gorton

And here's one of my favorites. I liked it so much I printed it out and hung it by my desk:

Subject: Pampered and dissolvable tablets for literal
individuals

Our tablets are only like usual lozenges but they are specially explicated to be spoiled and dissolvable under the lingua. The lozenges is sorbed at the rima oris and gets in the blood instantly instead of progressing through the breadbasket. This effects in a quicker more vigorous effect which yet up to 44 hours!

Labels:

add to kirtsy | 9:44 AM

2 Comments:

Anonymous Allyson said...

I only like it when the lozenges is sorbed at the rima oris--that dumb breadbasket always makes the whole process take too long. Gotta go, my ligua craves the vigorous ice cream to be spoiled quicker.
Oh, and is calling someone a banana anything like hurling one at one's suitemate through the bathroom hallway? :)

3/09/2006 8:05 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

You made me laugh at loud! [now duck!]

[and Melissa, if you're reading, stay out of the line of fire!]

:)

3/09/2006 10:22 PM  

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