At least it's curable
According to this wacky Dr. Unheimlich's Disease Registry, I suffer from the following: Jennifer's Syndrome.
Cause: drug abuse
Symptoms: bad poetry, indigestion, occasional phantom pregnancy
Cure: psychiatry
This freaked me out a bit, because it's all true. Except for the drug abuse. Which makes the symptoms even more disturbing if I don't have a mind-altering substance to blame.
What's your disease? Tell me in the comments.
Cause: drug abuse
Symptoms: bad poetry, indigestion, occasional phantom pregnancy
Cure: psychiatry
This freaked me out a bit, because it's all true. Except for the drug abuse. Which makes the symptoms even more disturbing if I don't have a mind-altering substance to blame.
What's your disease? Tell me in the comments.
Labels: silliness
| 10:09 PM
10 Comments:
Good lord! You are suffering from
Allyson's Disorder.
Cause: Egyptian curse
Symptoms: bad poetry, glowing eyes, food cravings
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
Those glowing eyes. . .they're starting to freak out the public. . .
Okay...you guys got off easy...
I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from Jessicaitis.
Cause: overwork
Symptoms: thirst for human blood, vertigo, automatic writing, hovering
Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait
Textbook example. I'm suffering from Melissa's Disorder !
Cause: genetic mutation
Symptoms: excessive tallness, extremely squeaky voice, & snoring
Cure: infect someone else
Looks like I'm already on my way to being cured . . . one of the symptoms of Jack's Disorder is a squeaky voice, too !! Boy are we a pair !
Oh, my. I think I need to take the last three weeks of school off. I can't be around kids like this!
Cause: unknown (scary!)
Symptoms: Guy Fawking of the leg, tree-climbing, frequent dislike of modern architecture ( I must admit I do not know what Guy Fawking is...)
Cure: Bleach
Wow, we're a sick bunch.
Ally -- Food cravings as a symptom, eh? Sounds like you.
Jess -- The thirst for human blood would explain your love for all things Buffy and Angel!
Melissa -- I don't remember much snoring when we were roommates. You must have been healthy back then!
Betsy -- At least your cure (bleach) is easily accessible! And be careful with your leg, as I suspect that Guy Fawking means that it might blow up, erupt into a bonfire, or set off fireworks on November 5th! (http://www.bonefire.org/guy/)
Evad's Syndrome.
Cause: influence of the Devil
Symptoms: excessive loose teeth, glowing, lust
Cure: don't do it again
This one is really true:
It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Davidosis.
Cause: pollen
Symptoms: indigestion, grunting, occasional facial hair
Cure: bleach
David: You have a problem with grunting, eh? Your illness gets even worse if you go by "Dave" instead. The cause is the same, but the cure* is deadly!
Dave's Disorder.
Cause: pollen
Symptoms: memory loss, chills, occasional coordination problems
Cure: take three sprigs of belladonna* and come back in the morning
*belladonna: an Old World poisonous plant (Atropa belladonna) of the nightshade family having purple or green bell-shaped flowers, glossy black berries, and root and leaves that yield atropine -- called also deadly nightshade (from Merriam-Webster)
Hey Jenn, looks like we both have:
McGuiggan's Disorder.
Cause: falling over
Symptoms: itching, embarrassing noises, lust, vomiting
Cure: sleep
That's one cure I can do! I'm good at it! :)
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